It happened

I have deleted the grog from my Google Reader. Convince me to re-add it. Go on. Try.

Proof that there's no God

For He would never allow such a paragraph to be written:

Nice enough, though, and I can highly recommend The Honest Lawyer (no cheap shots about the name, I have friends who are lawyers) as a neighbourhood place to hang your hat, gobble a wing and gulp a cold drink while getting the lay of the land from the ever-helpful staff. Am sure we’ll strike out to other necks of the woods during the journey on our never-ending quest to spread good cheer to the people. All recommendations gladly accepted.

Idiot Beat Grunts Say What?

Did the McCown radio show and one of the topics of discussion – this being Canada and it being September 2008 and all – was – ta da! – hockey at the 2010 Vancouver Olympics and the role Wayne Gretzky would have with the team.

It's Easy, You're Useless

A question from the grog that I actually wanted to hear an intelligent answer for. My fault for having unreasonable expectations like Dougie might, ya know, get an athlete or trainer to comment.

Q: Doug, we've seen Michael Phelps wear two bathing caps to prevent water resistance from his goggles' strap and Walter Dix wear wind resistant sleeves in the 100m sprints. With all the focus on athletes doing "anything" to win and with placings in swimming and track coming within 100th's of seconds, do you know why some athletes insist on wearing heavy jewellery or "bling" during races?

Don W, North York

A: It’s easy: Vanity.

Guornalism

From Grog, Doug Smith when asked what Jamario Moon is doing in the off-season:

Moon? He’s doing what every other NBA player worth is salt is doing, working on his conditioning and every part of his game, presumably ball-handling and shooting. It’s not like these guys go home and don’t touch a ball or go to a gym all summer. They work at their craft.

Is there any other reason he'd be that angry about a simple and innocent question except for the fact that Doug Smith obviously has no idea what Jamario Moon is doing this summer.

Doug Smith, circa whenever it is he experienced adolescence:

Kid: "Are you coming to Tina Goldstein's Bat Mitzvah?"
Douggie: "Ummm... Totally. There's going to be... dancing. And food, right? And I'm going to bring a gift. I was definitely invited. I know everything about Bat Mitzvahs"

Grog round up

First of all, Juan Mendez was cut from the Canadian national team for some dude named Ras. Denham Brown never showed up. Also Jamaal Magloire disappeared from the face of the earth, Steve Nash is aging and ticked and Jay Triano was hired last year to coach a practice team for Team USA. Can anyone make a strong case that we'll make it to the Olympics in the next 12 years?

Okay.

So much stupidity, so little time. I'm not linking to each excerpt but all the letters arranged into words arranged into terrible basketball reporting can be found here.

Q: Out of curiosity, are you into fantasy basketball at all?
If so, who are your top 10 picks for next season?

Aaron P, Toronto

A: Sorry, I have no knowledge and, frankly, little interest in fantasy basketball, reality basketball occupies too much of my time as it is. And my top 10 would be the usual top 10 players in the league.

Why post this question if you're not going to answer it? You shouldn't berate your faithful, Doug. Leave the assaults to us.

Q: I am a loyal reader and really enjoy your articles and your blog. While I usually agree with your views I have to ask the following questions to ensure that I am recalling your viewpoints correctly.
Only 6 months ago or so when there was the Calderon and Ford debate you used to say that Ford was #1 as he had more upside and could do things Calderon couldn’t.
Ford can still do things Calderon can’t but you seem to have changed your mind along the way – am I recalling your former viewpoint correctly? By the way, I am a big Calderon fan.
Last fall when asked about Ukic you felt that he would not be able to come over as the backup point guard without a fair amount of time as the 3rd guard. Now it seems that you are penciling him in as a 14 – 16 minute a night backup. Have you lowered the standards or just had a change of heart?

Carl M, Codroy Valley, NL

A: The more I watched Ford and Calderon, the more it became apparent to me (and this is not a universally-held opinion around here) was that Calderon had emerged as the right kind of point guard for this team. And as I’ve mentioned a billion or two times, on this roster, at this time, I saw Ford as a better backup, but that was never going to happen.

Last fall, Ukic wasn’t nearly ready, I didn’t think. After another year in a good Italian League and the Euroleague, he’s probably ready to take on a great role than I would have thought before 2006-07. It’s just that he matured as a player, nothing to do with my standards.

But what he should have said was:

My opinions surrounding the one professional sports team I am paid to report on reflect the status quo rubberstamping of any move they make with the right to change my opinions at any time to suit the PR needs of said pro team.

And it brings us to list time:

Four worst trades in NBA history

Vancouver for Memphis.

Let’s see, Stanley Park or Beale Street? The Pacific Ocean or the Mississippi? Duh!

Pau Gasol for, um, garbage

Maybe if Marc Gasol wins a ring before his brother does, this one moves down the list.

Oklahoma City for Seattle.

The Kells, Metropolitan Grill and Pike St.Market for, oh, I dunno, dust!

He Who Shall Not Be Name for a bunch of guys

This one hits close to home still, doesn’t it?

Exhaustive list.


Here’s three things to think about concerning the newly-constructed roster and “depth.”

It defines more clearly the role for Bargnani, who is now a backup four and five. No more questions about whether he should start or Rasho should, no more jerking him around and maybe that helps his confidence.

The swingman position has been narrowed. There were legitimate questions last year about whether Delfino should play more or Kapono should play more or Moon should play less or, yes, even whether Joey should get on the court. And we haven’t even touched on Juan Dixon. This way, there are three – Moon, Parker, Kapono -- with legitimate claims on playing time – and two – Graham and Adams – who can fight for a fourth position. But if they don’t do anything, there won’t be people saying they should get on the court.

The point guard position is settled.

You may not like the way things are shaking out because there is no question they didn’t address the lack of athleticism on the wing and that’s going to bite them in the ass more often than not, but that’s some of the logic behind the moves.

Having less players that are good at basketball is excellent because it lets fewer players play more. The "legitimate questions" over playing time happened because no one was playing well enough to be a starter. Doug's argument is like saying it would be easier to decide which pair of shoes to wear everyday if you only had one pair.

100th post!

So it took a little bit longer than expected but we have reached our 100th post. Here are the thoughts of one brilliant AP writer, Tim Dahlberg, on baseball attendance.

...[T]he other thing that struck me was how many empty seats there were for one of the biggest games of the year in Minneapolis. It was Saturday, the Twins were riding a 10-game winning streak and the Milwaukee Brewers were in town.

A couple of weeks earlier, I noticed the same thing in San Diego. The hated Dodgers were playing the Padres, yet you could walk up just before the game and score a seat almost anywhere in Petco Park

So you went to two games and saw a lot of empty seats when you probably were expecting to see a few hundred more fans. Sounds like...

It's purely anecdotal, of course.

Well I'm glad you can admit to that. When you have two pieces of anedoctal evidence, it is very difficult to draw a broad conclusion. I hope you aren't about to do that.

But look around almost any stadium outside of Boston or New York and you'll see large chunks of prime seats going unused – whether the game is sold out or not.

Are you really claiming that by going to two games and looking at the seats on TV for a few more, you are able to know that baseball attendance is down (even though you acknowledge in this very article that MLB is expecting to set a record for number of seats sold)? So your theory is that people are buying tickets but then just not showing up for the games? And why is that?

...[M]aybe baseball isn't delivering on what brought fans back to the ballpark in the first place in the late '90s and touched off today's attendance boom: the big home run.

Glad to see your argument still makes no sense. To recap: People buy tickets and notice there are fewer home runs being hit. Decide to stay home in record numbers. Ya, of course. That makes perfect sense. Thanks for the insight Tim.

Clever vs. Not clever

Clever - Michael Grange blogging about a TJ Ford trade rumour:

Also a few emailers were eager to point out a rumour coming from Phoenix that would see the Raptors send T.J. Ford and the No.17 pick to the Suns for Boris Diaw.

Poked around a little on this and I don't see it happening. One reason is that while the Raptors have had interest Diaw and new Suns coach Terry Porter might have warm feelings for Ford dating from his time with the Bucks, if the Suns trade for Ford how can they be sure Steve Nash will adjust to coming off the bench?

Not clever - John Gibbons' managing strategy as described after he is canned:

Gibbons pushed the cause of some players to employ a more aggressive style of ball, giving more runners the green light to steal bases, sacrificing to move runners over and using the hit-and-run more often.

Flexing my critical muscle

There's really nothing about the following blog post by man of all seasons, Doug Smith that warrants the FDS treatment any more than any of his daily cybervomits. But I'm bored. And he sucks.

Late again, blame time zones.

Be back in Boston on Monday – maybe – and will be back to the regular routine.

Please note that in the era of shrinking newsrooms and closed-down international bureaus, Doug E. Smith (the 'E' stands for 'Mediocre') gets to fly from Boston to LA and back to Boston. That's like $4,000 that could be better spent feeding hungry orphans or renting a really kick-ass bouncy room.

Garbo's as good as gone and you have no idea how much we’ll miss him.

I guess we don't. Don't cry, DS!

Funniest guy on the team (maybe a tie with Rasho), fine player, good person but, you know what?, it’s time.

Garbo was average for the one season he played in the NBA. You could make a statistical argument that he was below average but we'll stick with average.

With all the stuff swirling around him, playing last summer’s Euros when the team didn’t want him to, the lawsuit against the federation over the insurance money, the fact he’s will have played only seven NBA games in 18 months when camp rolls around, his desire to play in Beijing this summer, sort of had a sneaking suspicion in the back of my mind this day might arrive.

Any stock tips for me, Doug?

Financially, it’s not a huge boon to the Raptors, although there will be some luxury tax help when they finally come up with a buyout number, but it won’t give them any extra room to chase free agents, they’ll still just have the mid-level exception.

On the court? Well, I don’t think anyone had any idea what Garbo would have brought to camp so if there were no expectations, he’s not going to be missed a lot. If he’d been the 2006 Garbo, tough, smart, a defensive anchor, that would have been great. But if he’d been less than that, I’m not sure how big a role he would have played.

Average. Better on defense than offense but he was too slow to defend 3s. I'm racking my brain for instances of toughness... That beard was certainly tough.

It bites when things come to an end, it especially bites when they come to an end because of an injury; this departure bites an awful lot.

Or it means almost nothing.

Oh, and no, it won’t have any impact whatsoever on his buddy Jose.

Thanks for clearing that up. I thought Jose might break his own leg in support.

We’re sitting around the hospitality suite here late last night, swapping stories and doing what beat grunts do – a wee bit of complaining, a wee bit of laughing, a wee bit of imbibing – and of course they have NBA TV on all the sets

This, my friends, is classic.

(He posts a Red Auerbach instructional video clip, the kind that is on NBA TV 10 times a day.)
Doug Smith has never seen the channel devoted to the sport he covers before, I guess. Instead of those red-eye flights across the USA, maybe the Toronto Star should spring for some better cable for the Gruntster.

Well, now I can tell my grandkids I saw Candace Parker play basketball in person.

To satisfy personal curiosity, and because some friends from the league invited us to suite, took in the WNBA game between the Sparks and Detroit Shock last night.

Wow, Doug, you get into all the cool parties!

Now, I don’t want this to sound at all condescending because some people who know me know I’ve been a fan of the women’s game for a while, but the caliber of play was outstanding.

Fast, skilled, better shooting than I can remember from other WNBA games I’ve seen in person or on TV and Parker is the real deal. Even though she was in foul trouble and didn’t play an awful lot, you could just see how excellent she is.

Now I can tell her brother I know for a fact he’s not as good (I keed, I keed).

Pointing out every time you attempt to make a joke is a surefire indicator you are exceptionally funny)

And, let me tell you, was sitting along the baseline for a few minutes in the third quarter and I saw Cheryl Ford deck Lisa Leslie with an elbow that was every bit as nasty as any her father threw in his NBA career.

I've been meaning to ask how Karl Malone has a daughter who must be pushing 30. Was he 16 when he laid some of that seed down? Utah should have made the Mailman marry all of his baby-mamas.

(ed: Malone was 18 at the time of Cheryl's birth, I looked it up)

I know there’s not much chance too many of you will get to see a game in person but if you do, I’d recommend it for sure.

-

From the mail, and tomorrow’s mail day, don’t forget:

Q: You said in your blog today (June 11) that Basketball is the toughest sport to officiate. Why is that? What makes it so tough? What makes it tougher to officiate then soccer or hockey?

T S, Markham

A: Many, many reasons. The speed, the size of the athletes, the physical nature of the game, the compact size of the playing field and the fact there probably could be a foul called on every single possession.

You could put two of the best basketball officials in a room, show them video and they may not agree with each other on a handful of calls. There’s a lot of subjectivity that goes into officiating the game.

Hockey? It’s tough, sure; but the players aren’t as big and the playing surface is huge.

Soccer? Please. I’ve watched a lot of the European championships these past few days and, yes, the officials have to run and cover a lot of area. There are also times when two thirds of the players on the pitch are either walking or standing.

No other sport penalizes otherwise incidental contact. Done.

Oh, right, there’s a game on out here tonight.

Trying to figure out who’ll win? So are we. If Paul Pierce and Kevin Garnett are merely average in Game 3, the Celtics win and the series is effectively over and it’s hard to imagine them both being that bad again tonight.

On the other hand, it’s quite possible that neither Lamar Odom nor Pau Gasol have any significant impact on the game.

That said, though, if Rajon Rondo can’t go – and there’s no word this morning on how his ankle is – I don’t think the Celtics have a chance. As we know. Sam Cassell’s done, Eddie House is a shoot-first guard and he couldn’t handle any measure of ball pressure the other night when the Lakers had Jordan Farmar guarding him and there’s really no one else.

That ambivalent enough for you?

That was actually ambivalent enough for you.

I’m thinking the Celtic win another ugly, low-scoring game.

The fact that you get to attend this potentially ugly, low-scoring game should be a human rights violation.

Are you stupid or am I?

Grog:

Made me wonder what it’s going to be like around Toronto in, say, 15 years?

Will Alvin Williams come back every now and then? How about Jerome Williams? If they ever get a WNBA team, would they hire Muggsy Bogues to coach it? How about Dell Curry coming back when his kids are out of college?

Not going to happen, I’m afraid.

Is Jerome Williams not an employee of the Raptors? Did that end? Even so, I could see any of those players returning, especially Williams. I mean, Bogues and Curry didn't play here for very long but Mo Pete? You couldn't picture him doing a halftime show on the Score in 6 years? You're a dumb dumb, Doug Smith. But I have no idea if Jerome Williams works for the Raptors so I guess I am too.

also known as english

Grog:

Q: It appears as if Nicolas Batum will be available when the Raptors select. My question (1) Why is he not projected to go higher? (2) Why am I not hearing his name as a possibility for Toronto? I just think it would be a huge mistake not to take this guy (aka similar to not taking Andre Iguodala few years back)

Kandeephan G, Markham

I think some player is aka good.

Willie Willie Willie Green

Okay this blog has become just a grog response platform:

Who would you rather have starting for your team: The all-star Joe Johnson and Josh Smith or Anthony Parker or Jamario Moon? Or, Andre Iguodala and Willie Green or Anthony Parker or Jamario Moon.

Willie Green is in a deathmatch with Andrea Bargnani for the worst rotational player in the NBA. Considering Iggy is probably going to get a max-type deal, I'd rather have Parker and Moon. Thanks.

In journalist math, Doug Smith > Peter Vescey

From the grog:

A work of fiction

Okay, so I don’t know Peter Vescey that well, maybe met him twice in my life and he’s become entirely irrelevant around the NBA, but what he did Sunday was absolutely unconscionable.

The drive-by on Sam Mitchell, you can read it here, was shocking not only because it’s wrong but because a purported responsible journalist cannot fabricate direct quotes and get away with it.

And that’s just what that was, an entire fabrication of a scene that never, ever took place. I spoke to half a dozen people yesterday who would have been in that room and it simply didn’t happen.

It’s funny to me, big shot columnist, who should know better, writes fiction and doesn’t seem to care. If I’m quoting somebody, I know they said the words. If I’m making an assertion like that – as bogus as it was – I’m checking first.

And I think we all know now that Mr. Vescey deals in fantasy rather than fact. And this one instance entirely diminishes every other single word he writes.

He's referring to this tasty tidbit:

Yesterday's La Gazzetta dello Sport claimed Mike D'Antoni could wind up in Toronto with former Suns exec Bryan Colangelo should Phoenix make him the designated scapegoat for its playoff failures and Sam Mitchell be fired by the Raptors. Both men have two years left on their deals. Money owed is a major concern or complication. Once alleged imperfections start to leak out in the local media, which is the case in both circumstances, time is about to expire. The whispering campaign regarding Mitchell is supposedly he's not a hard worker or on top of the league's current events. A few months ago, before the Raptors were to play the Lakers, he addressed the team by telling them, "We'll worry about the guy who got 81 in a second, but first I want to talk about Andrew Bynum and how he killed us last time." A hush engulfed the locker room. "Hey, coach," Chris Bosh interrupted. "Bynum's been out for weeks with an injury."

Petey, Douglas Alexander Merriweather Smith just called you a hack! But seriously... you just made this up. Making things up is for rip-off sports journalism blogs with readerships of 8, not fifth column of enlightenment, the exalted New York Post.

Par example:

Last night, sources report, Peter Vescey was spotted leaving a late night meeting of the Manhattan chapter of the NAMGLA, the National Association for Man/Goat Love Acceptance. When asked to confirm his membership in the group, the New York Post columnist replied "You'll never understand how passionate goat love can be until you've grabbed a doe by the horns until she yelled 'naaaay.'"

See? Fun. But made up.

Remember when Peter Vescey did the halftime show on the NBA on NBC? I don't even think Bill Walton would work with the guy these days and he's fucking nuts.

Newton's Laws as shown by Douglas Smith

Grog:

Action: Kapono plays
Reaction: He’s got to play smart.

Action: I write a blog

Reaction: It's a really stupid blog

Which what way, Doug Smith?

Grog content:

Regression in progress

If that wasn’t the worst game Andrea Bargnani’s played in a long, long time, I can’t remember which was.

And by regression, we think he means Bargnani's performances not his own ability to construct a sentence.

Some more:

No, I’m not ready to trade him for Andrew Bogut or LaMarcus Aldridge or anyone but whatever funk the kid’s in took entire control of his body yesterday.

Bogut: 14 and 10 this year with almost 2 blocks, .505 eFG%., 15 win shares.
Aldridge: 18 and 7, .486 eFG%, 19 win shares

Bargnani: 10 with under 4 rebounds a game, .451 eFG%, 4 win shares. He's a scoring (read: no defence) centre who can't hit shots more efficiently than Damon Jones' worst season in the league. How funky is that? Make your case, Smith.

Judge Smith

Mail brog:

Let’s get into the mail for one:

Q: Something I've wondered for a while: You're a professional journalist, and covering this team is your job, but do you also consider yourself a fan? Do you get excited when the team is doing well? Are you disappointed when they lose? Or do you have to maintain an emotional distance in order to do your job properly?

Ken H, Toronto

A: You can’t be a fan, it clouds your judgement and impartiality and that can’t happen.

What would Doug Smith do without his judgment?

Doug Smith circa 2005: "The Raptors should sign Travis Best!"

Cathal Kelly looks to Sal Fasano for clarity: scribbling to the choir?

Here:

As long as he and Ryan both continue to make strides, the Jays will be left with a tough decision once camp breaks. It leaves even a wise old vet like Fasano shaking his head.

"(Janssen's) role, considering what he did he last year?" Fasano said, wincing at the thought of it. "That's not for me to decide. But he was so good in the bullpen, I wouldn't mess with it."

Wincing? Head shaking? 3rd string catcher providing unnecessary context? Cathal Kelly is one awkward sonofabitch.

Gutless Gilbert

Not even worth cutting up:

To All You Jose Calderon Fans and Commenters
You know what, I’m sorry Canadian fans, I didn’t realize you guys do not have a sense of humor. I didn’t realize that you don’t like to laugh up in Canada. And Calderon isn’t even Canadian! I could see if I said something bad about Steve Nash, but Calderon is not a Canadian, he’s a Spaniard. All the comments I got from Spain, that’s OK, I can understand why you were mad at me. But Canada?

You’re loyal fans, but it’s not like I said anything bad, I just said he wasn’t an All-Star. I said he played great basketball. He’s playing great basketball while he’s filling in for T.J. Ford who is the starter. So he is the backup point guard. You know? He’s doing very well for himself, he’s going to get paid money this year.

At the end of the day, the Raptors might not even have him next year, so if I was a Toronto fan I wouldn’t get mad or upset right now. Calderon might be somewhere else.

He’s playing great. Over the years you can see his development as a player, and he’s really playing well. T.J. might lose that spot to him, but I don’t know. Who knows? As a backup or as a starter right now, he’s playing great basketball.

I watched Calderon last week and he had a really good game. You can take him out of being a backup. He’s a starter now, he’s a starter in this league. You know what? With Jason Kidd gone and if Calderon plays how he’s playing next year and they’re winning in Toronto and he’s still the starter? He might have a shot at being an All-Star, he might have a crack at it.

Let's ask a question and then bore ourselves before we can answer it

Too lofty for the grog, this one actually went to print:

Is the West too good?

What an original and insightful question, DS. Maybe you can blue sky on the All-Star game format next. No one's tackled that one yet.

As the balance of power in the NBA shifts even more to the West, it can be fun to play parlour games with the post-season.

It can be. But not in your parlour of inane columns.

Would the prospect of a 50-win team missing the playoffs in the West cause enough consternation to bring about a change in format? What about the chance of a 35-win team in the East qualifying as one of the 16 – ahem – "best" teams in the game?

No. And no.

Would a brilliantly written blog centred around exposing Doug Smith as a brainless hack actually help get Doug Smith fired?
What if he asked rhetorical questions and then redundantly answered them?

No. And no.

But that doesn't mean people aren't thinking about it, and talking about it.

The NBA isn't about to make a knee-jerk reaction to this regular season, even if the West seems stacked with all the good teams and many of the great players.

Right they're not. Here, Doug has engaged the age-old journalistic feat of lighting a match with angry grunt controversy and then putting it out with a fire hose of this-has-no-point.

Shaquille O'Neal moving from Miami to Phoenix and Jason Kidd going from New Jersey to Dallas are the two latest moves that have prompted concerns about the disparity between the two conferences.

Because Shaq was contributing so much to the landscape of dominance in the East lately.

"The West is the West, and as long as I've been in it, it's been like that," Boston's Kevin Garnett, a 12-year veteran of the western wars, was saying around the all-star break.

"Relieved can be an accurate word. It's fun to watch."

I think Kevin was asked if he felt relieved to be out of the West. Why does it feel like I'm writing Coles Notes for this piece of shit?

This year's difference between the two conferences has some thinking of how things could change in a dream world where the league messes around with its playoffs with frequency.

Having just the division winners qualify and then going by record without regard to seeding has been proposed. So has a "cross-over" when it gets down to two teams in each conference.

It's a debate that will rage as long as the West has so many good teams in comparison to the East, but it's also a debate that could have raged years ago.

"No one's remembering the '80s," says Raptor coach Sam Mitchell. "All those years of Boston and L.A. (in the finals)? Well, Boston has to go through Philadelphia, Milwaukee, Chicago, Atlanta. Those were the best teams. The Lakers had a walk compared to them. No one wants to talk about those times."

Because no one remembers anything but the Finals unless you're talking about your home team.

This year's playoffs could be decidedly one-sided where records at concerned. There's a good chance a team like Denver could win 50 games and not qualify in the West while two or maybe three teams with more losses than wins could make it to the post-season in the East.

Sucks for Denver fans. Really does. Unfortunately the NBA feels they need regional representation in order to keep people watching and attending basketball games. Neither Doug Smith nor the NBA nor I know if that is meaningfully true.

Since the NBA changed to its current format of eight teams from each conference qualifying for the playoffs in 1983-84, the 2000-01 Houston Rockets lay claim to being the team to miss the playoffs with the best record. With Hakeem Olajuwon winding down his Rockets career and Rudy Tomjanovich coming to the end of his coaching tenure, Houston went 45-37 and didn't qualify.

I'm sure hardcore Rockets fans care about that perceived slight just as, as a Raptors fan, I know that we lost out on drafting Allen Iverson because of a lame expansion rule. Unfair. Maybe they should take the top 16 across the board. Hell, if all the good teams are in the West, then it's unfair that Portland has to play good teams more often than the Sixers. I'm starting to ramble, but you've yet to make a point, Doug.

Coaches like Mitchell and players like Garnett bristle at the suggestion the East is the junior varsity conference and a playoff system that's been tweaked just once since '83-84 needs changing.

The league knows that things go in cycles – even if they are slow cycles – and Garnett said the depth of talent out West doesn't mean there are teams full of stiffs in the East.

"You don't have the big names or the big international names but there's teams in the East that can give some of the teams in the West the bang for the buck," said Garnett. "I mean, taking it off the top of my head, Toronto, Orlando, Washington, those teams are comparable teams.

Thanks for the mention, Kev. You left out Cleveland and Detroit. Detroit, with strength of schedule taken into account, may be the best team in the league.

"You can't just discount those teams because they don't have the records that are going on in the West. That's what it is."

The NBA is not baseball. There's no Yankee machine gobbling up free agents. There's no farm system developing prospects. There are complicated trades, complicated signings and the draft. Too many teams in the Eastern Conference have made those team-improving decisions terribly.

And it's not enough to change things, as much fun as it is to think about.

That was fun?

I thought we were signing a contract with a "woah trade!" clause

Damien Cox, talking about... well... nothing:

As expected, the final 24 hours of NHL trading did include a couple of dozen trades, and as expected Cliff Fletcher couldn't pull a rabbit out of a hat. Asking him to do so after just over a month on the job was a MLSE fantasy, of course, but it does make you wonder whether John Ferguson, with more preparation time, could have done more.

Probably not. But it was still mostly pointless to fire him mid-season.

Instead, the Leafs still have their five no-trade heroes - Mats Sundin, Darcy Tucker, Pavel Kubina, Bryan McCabe and Tomas Kaberle - and have failed to use the trade deadline to significantly advance their rebuilding needs.

You mean the five dudes who negotiated a no-trade clause so they could ensure they wouldn't be traded when didn't want to be traded? Darn those a-holes! Darn them to heck!

"One thing I can assure you is that the face of the Maple Leaf hockey team will be different come October," said Fletcher.

Hal Gill got the Leafs Pittsburgh's second rounder, which could be helpful. Dumping Wade Belak and Chad Kilger for middle-round picks probably isn't going to mean much, but you never know.

Didn't the Leafs get a 3rd round pick for Kilger? You might get a decent prospect with a 3rd round pick. I know my hockey knowledge is shakier than Michael J. Fox serving drinks on a tilt-a-whirl but isn't every pick past the first ten pretty much a crap shoot in the NHL?

And, oh yeah, they got rid of crappy old overpaid hockey players and their cap-eating salaries for a chance to draft better, cheaper hockey players or maybe trade those picks for other hockey players. I would have traded Hal Gill for one of those informercial ladders that can be folded into any position. Cliff Fletcher got a couple of draft picks for him. He wins.

All of this is nothing, however, that couldn't have been done without Fletcher. The notion that he could somehow recreate the magic of the Doug Gilmour trade for this franchise 16 years after the fact was foolish at best, but that's what the MLSE board tried to sell the public, and now those same board members look foolish again.

It's sad, really, to see such a prominent franchise reduced to playing on the periphery while teams like San Jose, Pittsburgh and Dallas take centre stage. The Pens deal for Marian Hossa, stealing him from under the noses of the Montreal Canadiens, while the Sharks landed Brian Campbell and the Stars added Brad Richards.

It's sad that Montreal didn't have the assets or weren't willing to give up enough for Hossa. They're an original six team. Original, baby! Instead, he went to the Pittsburgh Penguins who I guess are some expansion team who doesn't have the best player in the world and never won back-to-back Stanley Cups with some dude who was not named Mario Lemieux. Did you know there are 30 teams in the league these days?

The Leafs, meanwhile, added four draft picks - and not high ones - and are remained wedded to players they clearly would like to be rid of, like Kubina, Tucker and McCabe. Fletcher had no bold moves to make, and so made three easy, simple ones. He did say one of his Untradeable Five initially agreed to a trade before the Leafs' game against Ottawa on Monday, then changed his mind after the game.

He did not, boldly, go back in time and courageously re-write five contracts so that they would not be heroicly terrible. I heard Pavel Kubina was going to waive his clause but changed his mind after winning a game last night in Ottawa. Pavel Kubina thinks the Leafs are going on some kind of run and are going to march into the playoffs. And if this guy sounds like a moron, remember that he fleeced the Leafs into paying him too much money and negotiating a fucking no trade clause.

"We weren't skating in the same arena as some other teams," said Fletcher. "We're happy with the results of the day based on going in knowing the situation of all our players."

"This is just the first step of the process," said Fletcher. "I did not think we could do more."

Today might have been the first day in the history of the world that someone running the Maple Leafs realized there is a salary cap. So wipe those tears, Damien Cox, it's going to be okay.

The East Coast Kidd Disavowal Continues

This time from some rag called The New York Times:

I thought it was fitting that Thorn mentioned Kidd and Julius Erving, the indomitable Dr. J., in the same breath. The difference between Kidd and Erving was that Dr. J. led the Nets to a pair of championships (both in the A.B.A.). And while rings might not define a career, a player’s legacy is greatly enhanced by championships precisely because so few players ever win one.

Dr. J. led the Nets to a pair of championships in a now-extinct league with seven teams. I'm so happy this trade has gone through so the New York media can go back to reminding us that A-Rod hates winning.

Winners: They Win

From a full on slurpfest at NetsDaily discussing why Devin Harris will be the point guard laureate of Brooklyn:

And there’s one other thing that Nets fans should consider: Harris is a winner. Every team he has played with has won…and big. At Wauwatosa East High School in Wisconsin, at the University of Wisconsin, in Dallas, his teams have succeeded, in some cases surprisingly so. There’s not a lot of point guards who can say they helped take a team to the NBA Finals…at the age of 23. Harris did. Parker did. Wade did.

Because, you know, most NBA players got picked last in pick up ball, toiled on last place high school teams and fought to stay above .500 playing Div-3 college hoops. Let's not forget that Devin Harris was a back up to Jason Terry in their Finals run. Beno Udrih has two rings and he's 25 - must be a winner too. Harris is an outstanding guard, no doubt, but save the "winner" shit for Derek Jeter columns.

Not you too Griffin

From Richard Griffin's blog:

The lineup weaknesses are in the task of finding a legitimate second place batter for the lineup, in finding enough lefthanded bats and in not having the lead-footed Thomas clog the bases by placing him in the top four of the batting order.

Though it is readily apparent to anyone who can think, I will reiterate Fire Joe Morgan's excellent point that there is no such thing as clogging the bases. The very essence of scoring runs involves getting on base (assuming you aren't hitting home runs) and then scoring. If you are good at getting on base, then you are a valuable player. That is the end of the story. Being slow certainly hurts your value but it does not make sense to say that you are clogging the bases. To put it even more explicity, try and think about how many times last season Frank Thomas prevented a player from reaching an extra base because Thomas was too slow (which is the only real way I can think that a player could clog the bases). As far as I remember, the number is definitely fewer than 10 and possibly fewer than 5. It is not something I would be too worried about.

Chances 3rd seed or worse in the Eastern Conference could beat any playoff team in the West?

From Deep in Grange Country:

Is there any point having the Eastern Conference playoffs? Like, if the Spurs are the sixth-place team in the West, I mean, why bother. They just looked big, tough and determined last night, and that’s without Tony Parker running around and screwing opposing defences. I think the East should have a four-team round-robin tournament with the winner getting a spot in the Western conference playoffs. I can see a healthy Boston being in the conversation, and Detroit. Maybe Cleveland and only because of LeBron. But Orlando? Toronto? Washington? Can they really be taken seriously?

Agreed.

EDIT: Jason Kidd was just traded to the Mavs. The first round of the Western Conference playoffs will be more exciting than the Eastern Conference Finals. I love this game.

It's kinda sports-related

So I was reading about this prison in Florida where pretty much every guard was corrupt before the new warden took over. Now, it doesn't surprise me that such a prison existed. However, this was pretty bizarre:

"I cannot explain how big an obsession softball had become," he said. "People were promoted on the spot after a softball game at the drunken party to high positions in the department because they were able to hit a softball out of the park a couple times."

"The connection between the softball and the parties and the corruption and the beatings was greatly intertwined."

The parties and orgies were often carried out at a waterfront ranch house built on prison grounds for a former warden with taxpayer dollars, McDonough said. The house was complete with a bar, pool table and hot tub.

So let me see if I get this straight -  If I worked at this prison, I would get to play softball, get promoted for doing well and then have sex all night at drunken orgies? Sign me up!

Did Matt Bonner get a $4 Chinatown haircut too?

From the beat glog:

Zany times for Matt

Ran into Matt Bonner in the hall before the game, after he glad-handed about everyone in the joint, and he was a tad frenzied. Seems family in Boston and friends in Toronto on a back-to-back just wore him out.

"(Sunday) I forgot to get my ankles taped I was so busy,” he said. “I’m not forgetting tonight. Now, I came out here to do something, what was it? I don’t remember. This is too much.”

Someone get the Rouge Rocket some Adderoll.

But he did have something to look forward to. Spurs stayed the night after the game and Matt, who throws around nickles like they were manhole covers as they used to say, was off to a downtown eatery because he’d kept a couple of gift certificates he got from the radio dudes.

And by downtown eatery he means Mr. Sub.

Gilbert Arenas doesn't know who Jose Calderon is

Gilby might know Jose better by his online poker handle, SpanishFly8.

An excerpt from his award-winning blog:

On the East side, I don’t know if there were any big snubs. I mean, some people wanted Jose Calderon. Jose Calderon? Who? Come on man, this is All-Star, people. When I’ve seen some of the names that are being thrown around on the ticker as snubs, it’s killing me. I understand Calderon has the best assist-turnover ratio in the league, but you know what’s funny? All back-up point guards have the best assist-turnover ratios. Screw it, Kevin Ollie should be an All-Star then! For like five or six years, Ollie was No. 1 in assist-turnover ratio!

Kevin Ollie's best season, in '02-'03 split between the Bulls and Pacers: 6.5 points, 3.5 assists, 0.9 turnovers, .451 FG%, .753 FT% in 23.1 minutes a game.

Jose Calderon in '07-'08: 12.4 points, 8.9 assists, 1.6 turnovers, .533 FG%, .921 FT% in 31.6 minutes a game.

Did I really need to look all this up? Was anyone nodding along when Patient Zero compared Calderon to a guy who's played for 289 different teams? Of course, Gilbert Arenas doesn't value assist/turnover ratio because his is usually hovering around 1:1.

An All-Star is an All-Star! He’s playing at a high level. That means, if you take him off the team, that team should fall down if he’s that one guy. An All-Star means that he is dominating the game of basketball. It’s not even about numbers necessarily, it’s about dominating.

Wages of Wins says Calderon contributes more to wins than Chris Bosh. Without him, they'd kiss a third of their wins goodbye. That sounds like dominatin' to me. Dominatin' the beautiful game of basketball.

I could probably say that Richard Jefferson got snubbed maybe Josh Smith too. His 18 points, 10 rebounds and three blocks puts him at No. 14. Richard Jefferson is No. 13. Turkoglu is No. 15. But, El Calderon? Come on.

It ain't about numbers. Except look at J-Smoove's numbers. And how cool is his nickname? Almost as cool as Tough Juice. Calderon doesn't have a fun nickname. Maybe if he did he would dominate. He's Spanish, right? Let's call him El Calderon! Oh, fuck. Gilbers beat me to it. Think he could find Spain on a map? Or Toronto? Or Australia?

I’ve been loving the way he’s been playing for the last two years. When he first came into the league he was a little timid and scared to shoot the ball, but he’s taking over that team. But All-Star? He’s about 20 years away from being an All-Star.

Taking over the team. But he ain't dominating. Just taking over. But an all-star? A star? And all? He used to not shoot all the time. How you going to play in this league 'less you put it up there every time you get the ball? You ain't if you want to make $11 million. Blogger Zero got to the second round of the playoffs once. He shot .373 from the field and .273 from the arc. Dominating!

This is the difference between Antawn and Caron stepping up with me out and Calderon stepping up with T.J. Ford out: Antawn is second in the league in double-doubles and there’s only five players in the league averaging 20 and 10 – he’s one of them. There’s Dwight Howard, Al Jefferson, Carlos Boozer, Chris Bosh and Antawn. Four of those five are All-Stars and their teams are winning. Caron is playing at a high level. He’s taking over the game when he’s been playing – All-Star. Calderon is managing a team. If he was up for Rookie All-Star, Sophomore All-Star … BOOM … he’d get in. He might even be MVP! But for the big show? The big game? No.

More numbers. But these are dominating numbers. Double-doubles are important. Lots of assists, low turnovers and efficient shooting are boring. Boring like folding with a pair of 4s. I mean, Calderon might be the MVP of games he is ineligible to play in, but we're talking about the Big Show! There's going to be slamma jamma dunks going on. Women, children and European point guards better get out of the way.

You know what? I’m sorry people. I think I’m biased because my team was fifth in the Eastern Conference and I was averaging 29, five and five and I got snubbed off the All-Star game. So maybe I’m a little biased. I was in that Larry Brown era, so, my fault. You know what? Calderon might have been an All-Star. I can’t look at my situation and judge everybody else’s situation in the All-Star game. I guess my 29, five and five and being in fifth place wasn’t good enough at the time.

Gilbonzo got snubbed once. Larry Brown was to blame. And so is Jose Calderon. He has good numbers. But numbers don't matter. Except they do.

"Bobby Covert" may the worst alias for an undercover cop since "Jimmy Imacopper"

Still, I'd never ever argue a call with Bob Delaney.

You know you've had one too many hits to the head when...

Fred Dean, recent NFL Hall of Fame inductee, upon seeing his name on the list of new members -
"I was stunfounded."

The man actually thinks that dumbfounded is stunfounded. How has Dean not been corrected on that once in 55 years? People are way too polite.

Sorry but no

In honour of the 1000th game in Raptors' history, TSN has decided to compile a list of the best players in the franchise's tumultuous history. While you could argue with some of the picks, a case can be made for all of them - except this one:

Matt Bonner (2004 - 2006): A fan favourite, Bonner could hit the three and always left it all out on the court.

As the title says, I'm sorry but no. The guy is probably on my list of top 5 NBA players I'd like to have over to my house but he averaged 7 points and 3.5 rebounds per game with the Raps. Those numbers do not get you inclusion on this list, even if the Raptors have had some pathetic teams over the year. TSN needs to get their heads out of their asses and do some actual research. They are really a bunch of lazy fuckers (see the Wages of Wins post below for more proof).

So good that no commentary is needed

Q: Doug, please don't take this personally but comparing your work to that of Michael Grange is like comparing the didactic ramblings of Teddy Kaczynski to Moliere™ [emphasis added]. You're welcome.Having said that could you please list some of the more colourful putdowns heard at a basketball game between any of the participants [fans, players, referees, coaches and scribes].
Perhaps you could make this a regular part of your blog, thus shrinking the quality gap between your mailbag and From Deep™. Budda Bing™.
Erik F, Toronto
A: Thanks for lowering your standards to write in. But what papers do that Kaczynski and Moliere write for? I should read them.
There’ve been too many to mention, and too many I’ve forgotten, but I will tell you one of the funniest I heard was in Year 1, Vincenzo Esposito comes in a pre-season game against Atlanta, they play that cheesy music they used to play and the Italian national fans in the crowd go nuts.
Vincenzo wanders up and stands beside Steve Smith, who looks over at him and says, “who the bleep are you?”
Almost spat up my coffee.
Now, I’ve got to go find out about this Moliere dude.
-
Q: Doug, please don't take this personally but comparing your work to that of Michael Grange is like comparing the didactic ramblings of Teddy Kaczynski to Moliere™. You're welcome.Having said that could you please list some of the more colourful putdowns heard at a basketball game between any of the participants [fans, players, referees, coaches and scribes].
Perhaps you could make this a regular part of your blog, thus shrinking the quality gap between your mailbag and From Deep™. Budda Bing™.
Erik F, Toronto
A: Thanks for lowering your standards to write in. But what papers do that Kaczynski and Moliere write for? I should read them.
There’ve been too many to mention, and too many I’ve forgotten, but I will tell you one of the funniest I heard was in Year 1, Vincenzo Esposito comes in a pre-season game against Atlanta, they play that cheesy music they used to play and the Italian national fans in the crowd go nuts.
Vincenzo wanders up and stands beside Steve Smith, who looks over at him and says, “who the bleep are you?”
Almost spat up my coffee.
Now, I’ve got to go find out about this Moliere dude.

TSN.ca forgoes journalism in favour of blog stealing

TSN.ca profiles The Wages Of Wins analysis of the Raptors through the first half of the season. It's clear from the article that no one from TSN talked to writer Dave Berri or actually understands anything about what things like "Wins Produced" really is.

But we're all for the blatant theft of blog content for mainstream media use.

Teams as stocks

In this fantastic mid-season analysis of all 30 NBA teams, Jack McCallum has decided to use stock prices and their change in value as a rating tool. I swear!

Here is one:

Price at beginning of season: $5
Current price: 50 cents
Analysis: Immature workforce in need of veteran stability, but vets reportedly tuning out management. Company headquarters due to be moved. Patient investors can look to maturation of prime asset Durant.

So he picks an almost arbitrary starting price and current price and then uses it as an attempt at humour? Because if it's not supposed to be funny, then I really don't get it. Is this it supposed to actually represent an analytical tool? If you can figure it out, please let me know.

Update:

In my haste to get this posted, I missed something incredibly obvious. The analysis section is even worse than the stock prices. Plus, this is my new favorite.

Dallas Mavericks (MAV)

Price at beginning of season: $55
Current price: $54.50
Analysis: As if old competitors weren't enough, company didn't anticipate new regional battle with NOH. But if young quarterbacking (Harris) doesn't fade and Dax Index (Nowitzki) stays strong, Cubanists could flourish.

Doug Smith: luckily not the Raptors' GM

I heard a discussion on the Swirsky show about a Bargnani and a shooter for Chris Kaman and wonder if (assuming LA was willing) you would make that deal?

Tim B, Kaohsiung, Taiwan

A: You’re in Taiwan listening to Swirsky? I’m speechless.

No, I wouldn’t make that deal.

Kudos to Taiwan for having better basketball sense than a professional basketball journalist.

St. Louis hopes the 31-year-old Glaus can protect Albert Pujols. Glaus recalled that, as a 6-year-old growing up in California, he told his mother he would one day play third base for the Cardinals.

He's not even sure why he said it.

"Funny thing is here it is 25 years later and I get a chance to do that," he said.

Freeeeeeeeeeaaaaaakkkkkkyyyyyyy.

The Toronto Dirtbags

Read this.

Then this.

I think the Leafs should go out and find some Assfaces.
And the Raptors could use an all around Munger with solid fundamentals.

Good (!) point made my Doug Smith

Okay, we can do Brandon Roy vs. Andrea Bargnani 'til the cows come home (and we do) but how in the world did Minnesota actually take Roy and trade him for Randy Foye?

That's ridiculous.

Maybe John Stockton circa 1997 is available

I could comment on Doug Smith's ideas of who the Raptors might want to look at as a point guard, but Raptors HQ has beaten me to the punch.

Once you've recovered from your laughing fit from thinking the Raptors might go after Sam Cassell or Damon Stoudamire, consider this:

There are probably 300 marginal NBA, NBDL, CBA, Euroleague, or Harlem Globetrotters who could play the position of point guard better than Juan Dixon or Derrick Martin. Doug Smith made a joke about some of our 10 day contracts in the past but I would take Derrick Dial in a second over Derrick Martin. Fuck, will someone call Rod Strickland already?

Doug Smith has a way with words. Not a good way. Just a way.

Journalism schools must have only recently began teaching students how to not write run-on sentences as proven by this delightful paragraph by a Mr. Doug Smith, professional journalist and all around great guy.

Read it out loud to yourself:

It will be nice to recall how great he was as he hit shots and drove the lane and dished to open teammates in the corner, all while carrying on rather one-sided conversations with the Raptor bench and a few courtside fans.

Griffy, I missed you...

Richard Griffin has returned with another excellent piece of writing. Let us begin.

[...] Coach Mike Evans would bounce a pass to Dixon above the circle, four hard dribbles right or left, followed by a jump shot. Left-right-left, swish-swish-clank. Yes, Allen Iverson ... it's called practice.

Hallmark of a terrible sportswriter - you are making a joke about something that happened at least 5 years ago and was funny for about 5 minutes.

With the Raptors' numbing loss of T.J. Ford, his backup Jose Calderon has now taken over the majority of the minutes at the point. And with Darrick Martin looking better in a suit than a uniform, Dixon's the one ... or, at least the 1-eh. [...]

I don't get this joke. I mean, I get the reference to Canadians saying "eh" but I would really like to understand the appropriateness of using it here. Also, what editor let that past them? Or were they chuckling right along with ol' Rich?

Left to wonder in which direction his NBA career was headed, he agrees that, in hindsight, the words of hip-hop artist Kanye West reflect his philosophy on the bench.
"Th-that that don't kill me, can only make me stronger," Kanye spits out in his hit song "Stronger." That could have been written for all the young guys in suits sitting at the end of NBA benches.

"That's what it's all about, man," Dixon agreed. "When you're sitting over there on the bench, it's tough. It wears on you mentally. You've got to stay strong. Like Kanye says, it's not going to kill you, it only makes you strong and work harder."

I don't even think anything needs to be said. However, I will say that I love that he got the "th-that" part down accurately.

I will conclude with a short commentary on Richard Griffin. I have been reading The Star for quite some time. I have yet to read anything by Griffin that has exceeded the writing level I was capable of in grade 10. Yet this guy does this for a living. Something is seriously wrong here.

Are you both 5?

From Rogers Clemens recent interview with Mike Wallace:

Clemens told CBS that McNamee's accusation was "ridiculous" and said he "never" used banned substances.

"Swear?" CBS's Mike Wallace asked Clemens.

"Swear," Clemens responded.

Little did Mikey know that Roger had crossed both his fingers and toes, thus negating the promise.

Let's hope 2008 brings us something better than this

Cathal Kelly interviewed a psychic and then posted her predictions. Let's see what the future holds. Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.........


The management of Toronto's various teams aren't shy about making predictions. We know how those have turned out in recent years.

So the Star contacted someone with a little more experience in foreseeing the future and fewer axes to grind. Toronto psychic Deborah Levin uses her clairvoyant abilities to peer into the not-too-distant future. Though not a sports fan, she agreed to answer a few questions about what local rooters should be expecting in the year to come.


First, I just need to state the obvious. Deborah Levin is a fraud. You know how I know that? Because nobody can see the motherfucking future.

Sadly, she saw more disappointment for the Leafs and worry for the Raptors. But there's a boost for beleaguered pitcher Roger Clemens and a vote of confidence for Leafs GM John Ferguson.

Do you see a parade up Bay St. in the near future?

No.

Going out on a limb, are we?

(Gulp) Well, do the Leafs make the playoffs at least?

I'd like to say they at least make it in, but I'm not feeling too favourable at this point. Sorry. Do they move players around at the last minute?


Not only does she make an ambivalent statement that she could weasel out of in the future but she doesn't even know if there are such things as trades.

Sure, teams make trades at the deadline.

They're bringing someone in at the last minute, but it's going to be someone really cool, someone really desirable.

I'll bet her even money that doesn't happen since we have nothing of real value to trade.

How about (Leafs coach) Paul Maurice, is he going to last the year?

I don't see longevity there. I think they're going to bring in some sort of new coach and he's going to be a real hothead, a real showboater. He's going to do really well, but man does he have a temper, he's a real loose cannon. I'm not sure if this is coming up immediately. It might be in the next couple of years.

Classic psychic double-speak. Let's cut out the bullshit in the middle and see what she has to say. "I don't see longevity here...I'm not sure if this is coming up immediately." So, what you are really saying is you have no fucking clue.

Since clairvoyants see images of the future we ask, What does the new coach look like?

Really ruddy complexion, lighter haired. Someone who turns purple when they scream.

Well at least we have a definitive prediction we can point to when she is wrong.

Okay, Canada started the world juniors on Boxing Day. Do you see success?

Which sport is that?


You suck worse than I imagined you would.

Hockey.

How many teams start the tournament?

Eight (ed. note: I was wrong, it's 10).

And Kelly, you suck too.

I see them getting to the last four. They're not going to win, but it'll be respectable.

She probably should have kept it to a last four prediction so now we have another direct statement to possibly prove her wrong.

How many medals do you see for Canada in Beijing?

I see a lot of silver for us.


Vague bullshit.

Any gold?

I think we're going to bring back a couple. But I'm seeing a lot of silver. We're going to do well.

More vague bullshit that is supported by past Olympic results.

Okay, I'm moving to the Raptors, the basketball team. How well will they do this year?

There's plans for a huge cash injection. A lot of money. I don't know where that goes or what that means to you, but they're going to have a lot of money.

Let's hope that's playoff money. How about T.J. Ford, he's a player who's been hurt recently. Is he going to be okay?

Cathal realizes the answer makes virtually no sense in a league with a salary cap and luxury tax so he tries to make it a hit with the playoff money comment. Don't help the monkey out.

I think he believes that he can overcome it, but I worry that he's going to push himself when he physically can't manage certain things any more. I want to ask you, is Hollywood into the Raptors?

Another generic prediction about what a dedicated and hardworking athlete might do in trying to overcome a serious injury. You should be proud, Deborah.

Yeah, I suppose.

I get this feeling like Hollywood's taking interest, movie stars coming to games, which I'm sure happens all the time, or they're getting a player or two that are in the media all the time, superstars. All I get is that Hollywood's taking over.

You have no fucking clue what you're talking about.


Okay, there's been a lot of talk about Toronto getting a National Football League franchise. Do you see that happening?

The money's not there. ... Bringing one here is going to make a lot of people upset. That's all I know. It's unwanted in a way. I see a lot of resistance.

Actually, the money is there. And then you make a point that anyone who reads a newspaper would make. Bravo.

Will Michael Vick play football again?

(Levin, an animal lover, knows that name.) Yup. As disgusting as that is, he will.

Let's check back in 3 years but she's probably right on this one.


Will the New England Patriots win the Super Bowl?

Isn't that strange. Somebody's getting sick. A serious illness.

Just bizarre. However, I know that she likes this type of prediction because it can be spun so many ways if you were to call her out on it after the fact.

What's the future for (Maple Leafs general manager) John Ferguson Jr.?

They like him. Is he doing anything?

You can't even predict the present!

Er, well, the team's not doing so hot. What's his future like?

You know what? They're keeping him around.


Once again, no.

Back to baseball. Barry Bonds. Is he going to jail?

That name I've heard. ... His career is screwed up. That's it. Is he going to jail? What I get is one hell of a fine, one hell of a penalty.

So he'll get a fine or jail time. Another ballsy prediction.

How about Roger Clemens and steroids? Will he admit wrongdoing?

Do they know for sure that he did it? I think some lies are being told here.

So he didn't do it?

I don't get steroids. Why would someone try to get someone in trouble like that? I don't get steroids around him. I don't believe it.

And you are clearly a huge tool. Thanks Deb for the idiocy. You brightened up by Tuesday afternoon.