Not you too Griffin

From Richard Griffin's blog:

The lineup weaknesses are in the task of finding a legitimate second place batter for the lineup, in finding enough lefthanded bats and in not having the lead-footed Thomas clog the bases by placing him in the top four of the batting order.

Though it is readily apparent to anyone who can think, I will reiterate Fire Joe Morgan's excellent point that there is no such thing as clogging the bases. The very essence of scoring runs involves getting on base (assuming you aren't hitting home runs) and then scoring. If you are good at getting on base, then you are a valuable player. That is the end of the story. Being slow certainly hurts your value but it does not make sense to say that you are clogging the bases. To put it even more explicity, try and think about how many times last season Frank Thomas prevented a player from reaching an extra base because Thomas was too slow (which is the only real way I can think that a player could clog the bases). As far as I remember, the number is definitely fewer than 10 and possibly fewer than 5. It is not something I would be too worried about.

Chances 3rd seed or worse in the Eastern Conference could beat any playoff team in the West?

From Deep in Grange Country:

Is there any point having the Eastern Conference playoffs? Like, if the Spurs are the sixth-place team in the West, I mean, why bother. They just looked big, tough and determined last night, and that’s without Tony Parker running around and screwing opposing defences. I think the East should have a four-team round-robin tournament with the winner getting a spot in the Western conference playoffs. I can see a healthy Boston being in the conversation, and Detroit. Maybe Cleveland and only because of LeBron. But Orlando? Toronto? Washington? Can they really be taken seriously?

Agreed.

EDIT: Jason Kidd was just traded to the Mavs. The first round of the Western Conference playoffs will be more exciting than the Eastern Conference Finals. I love this game.

It's kinda sports-related

So I was reading about this prison in Florida where pretty much every guard was corrupt before the new warden took over. Now, it doesn't surprise me that such a prison existed. However, this was pretty bizarre:

"I cannot explain how big an obsession softball had become," he said. "People were promoted on the spot after a softball game at the drunken party to high positions in the department because they were able to hit a softball out of the park a couple times."

"The connection between the softball and the parties and the corruption and the beatings was greatly intertwined."

The parties and orgies were often carried out at a waterfront ranch house built on prison grounds for a former warden with taxpayer dollars, McDonough said. The house was complete with a bar, pool table and hot tub.

So let me see if I get this straight -  If I worked at this prison, I would get to play softball, get promoted for doing well and then have sex all night at drunken orgies? Sign me up!

Did Matt Bonner get a $4 Chinatown haircut too?

From the beat glog:

Zany times for Matt

Ran into Matt Bonner in the hall before the game, after he glad-handed about everyone in the joint, and he was a tad frenzied. Seems family in Boston and friends in Toronto on a back-to-back just wore him out.

"(Sunday) I forgot to get my ankles taped I was so busy,” he said. “I’m not forgetting tonight. Now, I came out here to do something, what was it? I don’t remember. This is too much.”

Someone get the Rouge Rocket some Adderoll.

But he did have something to look forward to. Spurs stayed the night after the game and Matt, who throws around nickles like they were manhole covers as they used to say, was off to a downtown eatery because he’d kept a couple of gift certificates he got from the radio dudes.

And by downtown eatery he means Mr. Sub.

Gilbert Arenas doesn't know who Jose Calderon is

Gilby might know Jose better by his online poker handle, SpanishFly8.

An excerpt from his award-winning blog:

On the East side, I don’t know if there were any big snubs. I mean, some people wanted Jose Calderon. Jose Calderon? Who? Come on man, this is All-Star, people. When I’ve seen some of the names that are being thrown around on the ticker as snubs, it’s killing me. I understand Calderon has the best assist-turnover ratio in the league, but you know what’s funny? All back-up point guards have the best assist-turnover ratios. Screw it, Kevin Ollie should be an All-Star then! For like five or six years, Ollie was No. 1 in assist-turnover ratio!

Kevin Ollie's best season, in '02-'03 split between the Bulls and Pacers: 6.5 points, 3.5 assists, 0.9 turnovers, .451 FG%, .753 FT% in 23.1 minutes a game.

Jose Calderon in '07-'08: 12.4 points, 8.9 assists, 1.6 turnovers, .533 FG%, .921 FT% in 31.6 minutes a game.

Did I really need to look all this up? Was anyone nodding along when Patient Zero compared Calderon to a guy who's played for 289 different teams? Of course, Gilbert Arenas doesn't value assist/turnover ratio because his is usually hovering around 1:1.

An All-Star is an All-Star! He’s playing at a high level. That means, if you take him off the team, that team should fall down if he’s that one guy. An All-Star means that he is dominating the game of basketball. It’s not even about numbers necessarily, it’s about dominating.

Wages of Wins says Calderon contributes more to wins than Chris Bosh. Without him, they'd kiss a third of their wins goodbye. That sounds like dominatin' to me. Dominatin' the beautiful game of basketball.

I could probably say that Richard Jefferson got snubbed maybe Josh Smith too. His 18 points, 10 rebounds and three blocks puts him at No. 14. Richard Jefferson is No. 13. Turkoglu is No. 15. But, El Calderon? Come on.

It ain't about numbers. Except look at J-Smoove's numbers. And how cool is his nickname? Almost as cool as Tough Juice. Calderon doesn't have a fun nickname. Maybe if he did he would dominate. He's Spanish, right? Let's call him El Calderon! Oh, fuck. Gilbers beat me to it. Think he could find Spain on a map? Or Toronto? Or Australia?

I’ve been loving the way he’s been playing for the last two years. When he first came into the league he was a little timid and scared to shoot the ball, but he’s taking over that team. But All-Star? He’s about 20 years away from being an All-Star.

Taking over the team. But he ain't dominating. Just taking over. But an all-star? A star? And all? He used to not shoot all the time. How you going to play in this league 'less you put it up there every time you get the ball? You ain't if you want to make $11 million. Blogger Zero got to the second round of the playoffs once. He shot .373 from the field and .273 from the arc. Dominating!

This is the difference between Antawn and Caron stepping up with me out and Calderon stepping up with T.J. Ford out: Antawn is second in the league in double-doubles and there’s only five players in the league averaging 20 and 10 – he’s one of them. There’s Dwight Howard, Al Jefferson, Carlos Boozer, Chris Bosh and Antawn. Four of those five are All-Stars and their teams are winning. Caron is playing at a high level. He’s taking over the game when he’s been playing – All-Star. Calderon is managing a team. If he was up for Rookie All-Star, Sophomore All-Star … BOOM … he’d get in. He might even be MVP! But for the big show? The big game? No.

More numbers. But these are dominating numbers. Double-doubles are important. Lots of assists, low turnovers and efficient shooting are boring. Boring like folding with a pair of 4s. I mean, Calderon might be the MVP of games he is ineligible to play in, but we're talking about the Big Show! There's going to be slamma jamma dunks going on. Women, children and European point guards better get out of the way.

You know what? I’m sorry people. I think I’m biased because my team was fifth in the Eastern Conference and I was averaging 29, five and five and I got snubbed off the All-Star game. So maybe I’m a little biased. I was in that Larry Brown era, so, my fault. You know what? Calderon might have been an All-Star. I can’t look at my situation and judge everybody else’s situation in the All-Star game. I guess my 29, five and five and being in fifth place wasn’t good enough at the time.

Gilbonzo got snubbed once. Larry Brown was to blame. And so is Jose Calderon. He has good numbers. But numbers don't matter. Except they do.

"Bobby Covert" may the worst alias for an undercover cop since "Jimmy Imacopper"

Still, I'd never ever argue a call with Bob Delaney.

You know you've had one too many hits to the head when...

Fred Dean, recent NFL Hall of Fame inductee, upon seeing his name on the list of new members -
"I was stunfounded."

The man actually thinks that dumbfounded is stunfounded. How has Dean not been corrected on that once in 55 years? People are way too polite.

Sorry but no

In honour of the 1000th game in Raptors' history, TSN has decided to compile a list of the best players in the franchise's tumultuous history. While you could argue with some of the picks, a case can be made for all of them - except this one:

Matt Bonner (2004 - 2006): A fan favourite, Bonner could hit the three and always left it all out on the court.

As the title says, I'm sorry but no. The guy is probably on my list of top 5 NBA players I'd like to have over to my house but he averaged 7 points and 3.5 rebounds per game with the Raps. Those numbers do not get you inclusion on this list, even if the Raptors have had some pathetic teams over the year. TSN needs to get their heads out of their asses and do some actual research. They are really a bunch of lazy fuckers (see the Wages of Wins post below for more proof).

So good that no commentary is needed

Q: Doug, please don't take this personally but comparing your work to that of Michael Grange is like comparing the didactic ramblings of Teddy Kaczynski to Moliere™ [emphasis added]. You're welcome.Having said that could you please list some of the more colourful putdowns heard at a basketball game between any of the participants [fans, players, referees, coaches and scribes].
Perhaps you could make this a regular part of your blog, thus shrinking the quality gap between your mailbag and From Deep™. Budda Bing™.
Erik F, Toronto
A: Thanks for lowering your standards to write in. But what papers do that Kaczynski and Moliere write for? I should read them.
There’ve been too many to mention, and too many I’ve forgotten, but I will tell you one of the funniest I heard was in Year 1, Vincenzo Esposito comes in a pre-season game against Atlanta, they play that cheesy music they used to play and the Italian national fans in the crowd go nuts.
Vincenzo wanders up and stands beside Steve Smith, who looks over at him and says, “who the bleep are you?”
Almost spat up my coffee.
Now, I’ve got to go find out about this Moliere dude.
-
Q: Doug, please don't take this personally but comparing your work to that of Michael Grange is like comparing the didactic ramblings of Teddy Kaczynski to Moliere™. You're welcome.Having said that could you please list some of the more colourful putdowns heard at a basketball game between any of the participants [fans, players, referees, coaches and scribes].
Perhaps you could make this a regular part of your blog, thus shrinking the quality gap between your mailbag and From Deep™. Budda Bing™.
Erik F, Toronto
A: Thanks for lowering your standards to write in. But what papers do that Kaczynski and Moliere write for? I should read them.
There’ve been too many to mention, and too many I’ve forgotten, but I will tell you one of the funniest I heard was in Year 1, Vincenzo Esposito comes in a pre-season game against Atlanta, they play that cheesy music they used to play and the Italian national fans in the crowd go nuts.
Vincenzo wanders up and stands beside Steve Smith, who looks over at him and says, “who the bleep are you?”
Almost spat up my coffee.
Now, I’ve got to go find out about this Moliere dude.

TSN.ca forgoes journalism in favour of blog stealing

TSN.ca profiles The Wages Of Wins analysis of the Raptors through the first half of the season. It's clear from the article that no one from TSN talked to writer Dave Berri or actually understands anything about what things like "Wins Produced" really is.

But we're all for the blatant theft of blog content for mainstream media use.